For the extrovert…

You love to go out all the time. You love to talk about the latest reality television show. You love to gossip about the girl down the hall with all the boyfriends. You love to know everyone’s business. But, how do you deal with the person who does not respond to all of your good-time, free-flowing, high-level energy? How does an extrovert deal with an introvert?

Well, if you think you are going to pull them out of their shell and put them on your team, you are wrong. There is nothing more disrespectful than a blatant attempt to change one’s personality. By attempting to change an introvert into an extrovert, you are alienating a potential friend. You need to begin by knowing that the introvert probably thinks of you as shallow and not terribly intelligent. The introvert sees your extrovert personality as a mask, a phoniness, and because of the amount of your extraneous chitter-chatter, probably doesn’t trust you. In order to deal with the introvert, you will need to prove them wrong. By lowering your energy level, showing a genuine interest in the introvert, and making it very clear that you are not attempting to change them, a level of trust may begin to build.

You must also keep in mind that the introvert simply does not need you. They don’t need your attention, your flattery, or your social connections. They are quite happy in their introverted world. As an extrovert, that may seem hard to understand, but it is true. In fact, you may need them more than they need you.

Dealing with an introvert takes patience, kindness, and an understanding that people are different. In the words of D.H. Lawrence, “One man isn’t any better than another, not because they are equal, but because they are intrinsically other, that there is no term of comparison.”

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Are you a right brainer, in a left brain world?

Do you even know the difference? Check out this article, it explains it a little…probably better then I can. Then take this test to find out if your a left or right brainer. I don’t think it’s scientific, but it’ll give you an idea.

Do you have a left brain job? Maybe you are a manager or an engineer, both notorious left brain occupations. I’m a right brainer myself and most of the people I am around are lefties. This can be challenging to deal with especially if you don’t understand your differences.

Do you work with left brainers? You know the ones that always want to show you their spreadsheets (were very impressed…move along).

Early in my career I would get frustrated dealing with these lefties. We operated on different wave lengths, in some cases, polar opposites.

I made the choice, to strive to understand the way their mind worked, rather then remain frustrated and unproductive. Along the way, I made some discoveries that reduced my stress level and increased my productivity.

Here are two things that helped me survive the left brain world.

1. Understand their language-

I used to spend a lot of time trying to make people think the way that I do (yeah…that’s an easy battle). I eventually discovered that I was just fighting an uphill battle. I have grown to understand people, rather then fighting them. What I am saying is, rather than fighting it, understand it. You can be much more effective when your working with someone, rather then against them.

2. Speak their language-

I used to try to explain and demonstrate my big vision. I would usually get blank looks and a lot of, why’s. Remember, left brainers are logical, not visionaries like us righties. If you want to explain something to the left side, use charts, graphs and spreadsheets. Now your speaking there language…us on the other half of the brain relate better to pie charts (visual).

These are just a couple of tips to help us right brainers. I use these every day, I can’t even express how frustrated I would get prior to learning these basics. Remember it is always more productive to educate ourselves rather then retaliate…not always as fun though.

What side of the brain do you operate on? How do you deal with the opposite brain?

By the way, read this to find out why right brainers will rule the world someday.

Photo credit: TZA

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I wrote a guest post over at my friends blog, the introvertzone.

Be sure check it out and let me know what you think.

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